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As we continue to move into 2019 I look at myself daily and think “what exactly am I doing with this life?”. Apparently this is something you have to dig deep for and look beyond everything around you and think BIG.
Find what you love to do and go with it. If you like to paint, paint. If you like to write, write. I get it. Bills need paid somehow and if you are sitting in your pretty little kitchen painting a teapot the internet bill isn’t going to pay itself. Everyday after I drop the kids off at school I drive to work like a zombie listening to my favorite Bob and Sheri morning radio listening to people having actual fun with what they do everyday. What on earth does that feel like???? Don’t get me wrong, I do not hate what I do, I just feel like I’m missing something somewhere and I need to catch up. I never ever feel caught up.
I have found that almost every job has the same people, just in a different body. There’s Bill who is ALL business, if you joke with him you wonder why you bothered because he’s just going to fake laugh then move on. There’s Barb the office gossip/waiting for you to screw up to Facebook it lady who constantly asks you “hows it going?” Like she really cares. There’s the brown-noser, the person who sneaks out early and never gets in trouble, the person who does everything right and by the book and always seems to be in the office with the door shut getting corrected. Its all so redundant and expected after being in this line of work for 15 years. I see them everyday.
So what to do to get away from the madness and focus on YOU? As moms we take ZERO time for ourselves. Usually ZERO minus TEN. It’s all about everyone else getting what they need before you. At 40 things change, your body changes, your entire outlook changes and your worries change to new ones. Number one, Ask ask ask for HELP. I find myself forgetting my 10 and 13 year old CAN HELP. Have them help cleanup or cook or put clothes away while YOU take a hot bath or shower and wash away the work grime for the day.
Splurge on yourself once a week. Now I’m not saying spend $100 on yourself unless you’ve got it flowing then go for it girl. I mean, a specialty coffee, donut, cinnamon bun, deli lunch, pedicure, visit to a friend from Facebook you keep commenting “I miss you and lets get together soon” and never do it.
My friends and I meet at the Mexican restaurant like once every 6 months it seems and use a 10% off from a school discount card. That’s going OUT for us, getting OUT, filling up on cheese sauce and chips and one margarita because the old body can’t handle 6 like the 20 year old body could, then home by 7:00 pm and you feel like you have been gone for hours and really did something exciting. lol.
Get someone to watch your kids for a couple of hours one Friday or Saturday night (unless they are old enough to watch each other and not have a keg party while you leave) and go to your favorite dinner place with your significant other. It’s called DATE NIGHT and I honestly forget what that means its been so long for me.
Get a planner, like the ones here from momAgenda to plan and organize your day and life but also to pencil in something fun to look forward to:
Read a good kindle book on the couch with your pet and your favorite blanket, heating pad behind your back because you’ve been on your feet all day, ice pack behind your neck to get rid of the migraine that usually hits sometime during the month.
Take a drive, in town, out of town wherever you have the gas to make it and stop and enjoy something. Scenery, a shop, a person, a new place anything to refresh your mind and make you feel good about who you are and what you have become.
If you are low on funds which I completely get, shut a door to a room in your house and turn on Netflix with your favorite tub of ice cream and go at it.
A lady I work with says as soon as she gets home she is expected by her husband and 2 teenage boys to basically put her bags down, wash up quickly and start on dinner. Like NOW. Whaaaat? I get it everyone is hungry but I asked her what would happen if she walked in, went and got a shower and took a nap on her bed or watched tv for a little while to wind down?
She said all hell would break loose and they would be a mess. I said “Let them”, and she looked at me like I was crazy. I said you won’t know if you don’t at least try it once. Take time for you and not let it be about them when you walk in the door. All their demands hit you in the face and you feel overwhelmed and unsettled. Its stressful and makes you feel resentful and not who you want to be at all.
The point is that YOU matter and if you ignore your own mind ,body and well being crap is going to go south quickly. At this age we have to make time for ourselves and we are way past trying to be supermom. Good luck, take a breather and spend time for yourself this week you have worked hard and deserve it!
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